About the Author
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Annie Grace is the author of This Naked Mind: Control
Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life.
Annie lives happily alcohol-free with her husband and three
children in the Colorado ains.
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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
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What’s your all-time favorite drink? The one you can’t wait
to get your hands on at the end of a long day or on Friday night?
I bet if you think about it hard enough, you can even taste it
right now. Taste is a innocent reason for drinking. After all, no
one thinks twice about eating ice cream or nachos. They taste
good! And our favorite alco-holic beverages are the same way. But
for the sake of this experiment, let’s dig a little deeper.
AWARENESS
Many people tell me they really like the taste of their favorite
drink. I get it. I was a red wine girl all the way. Maybe you’re
a margarita lover. Or maybe you enjoy the taste of a good scotch
on the rocks. Let’s name this belief:
“I drink for the taste.”
I know a woman who drinks a of Baileys in her coffee every
morning before she drives her child to school. She doesn’t think
it’s a big deal. It’s just a , and nothing else makes her
coffee taste as good. Her concerned husband tried to get her to
try Baileys-flavored coffee creamer, but she insists it doesn’t
taste the same. But if you think about it, she’s not actually
tasting a lot of alcohol— it’s mostly the flavorings, cream and
sugar. So what do you think? Is she truly enjoying Baileys for
only the taste? Or is there something else going on?
CLARITY
In order to gain clarity around your beliefs, you need to look
back at the past and figure out why you have this belief in the
first place. Where did it come from? There are no right or wrong
answers here, and everyone is different. So ask yourself, what
observations and ex-periences have you had in your past that
might have made you believe alcohol tastes good? Maybe it’s
something as simple as watching your parents pour themselves a
drink at the end of the day. Or observing how they drank glass
after glass in the evening. Why in the world would they drink it
all the time if it tasted so bad? They’re smart, right? They’re
grown-ups. So it must taste good, or they wouldn’t keep drinking
it.
I have a friend from France whose parents made sure she drank a
little wine with dinner from the time she was eight years old.
She hated how it tasted, and told her parents so frequently. But
they con-tinued to press on, saying she would appreciate the
taste when she got older. The implication was that when she
became more mature and grown- up, she would enjoy the taste of
wine. We all want to appear more grown up when we’re kids, don’t
we? Sure enough, over time my friend became a great wine lover
and now drinks it every night.
Think back to your first drink and remember the experience. What
were you drinking? Maybe it was wine at dinner when you were
young. Maybe it was champagne on New Year’s Eve when you were
allowed to stay up until midnight for the first time. Maybe you
snuck into your parents’ liquor cabinet with a friend on a dare.
Or maybe it wasn’t until much later— maybe your first was in
college. Regard-less of when it was, think back to your first
sip. Did you actually like it? Or did you choke and sputter,
maybe even spit it out?
Who was with you at the time? Was it a friend you wanted to
im-press? Was it a parent you wanted to make proud? Were you
trying to find a place to fit in with a new group of people? If
you’re like the vast majority of people I talk to, your first
experience tasting alcohol was not pleasant. You didn’t like it.
But someone was there to say, “Don’t worry, it’s an acquired
taste. You’ll get used to it.”
So take a few minutes to write down where your taste for alcohol
came from. What was it like the first time you tried a new
or hard liquor? Was it always an amazing taste you immediately
loved? Did you acquire the taste over time? Or did you fake
liking it because you wanted to impress someone?
Now that you have an idea where your beliefs came from, let’s
play detective and look at the internal and external evidence.
This evidence will help you decide whether your belief that you
like the taste of al-cohol is true or whether you have been
fooling yourself.
People have some pretty intense reactions when they taste alcohol
for the first time. They talk about it burning on the way down.
They up their nose because it doesn’t even smell good.
Their eyes start watering. They might even spit it out. Why? One
of the major reasons we don’t like the taste of something is
because it’s harmful to us. We don’t like the taste of rotten
food because it can make us . Well, what’s going on when you
have a hangover? You’re ! Our taste buds react negatively to
alcohol to protect us from a harmful substance.
Let’s think about the idea of acquiring a taste for something.
Whatever your drink of choice is, you probably didn’t like it
immediately. But your body allowed you to get used to it. Why?
Because your brain assumes you have no choice in the matter. If
you did, it would make no sense for you to keep drinking. So your
body does the logical thing—it makes it easier for you to deal
with the taste. You acquire it. Which, if you think about it, is
the same thing as becoming immune to alcohol.
Let’s look at it another way: My brother has a goat farm, and
whenever I walk into the barn, there’s an intense unpleasant
odor. As my sister-in-law says, it smells “very goaty.” But guess
what? My brother and his family don’t even notice the smell
anymore. Because they’ve gotten used to it. They have to go into
the barn to feed the goats, so their brains no longer register
the odor. That doesn’t mean they like it. But they have, over
time, gotten used to it.
If you did happen to love the taste of your first drink, it was
prob-ably something fruity or creamy that was more sugar than
anything else. Am I right? Some drinks go down more easily than
others. Straight alcohol is ethanol. The same stuff you put in
your tank! A few sips will make you vomit and a few ounces of
pure ethanol will kill you. I think it’s safe to say you would
never go suck on the end of a pump nozzle because it tastes
good! No matter what your favor-ite drink is, the alcohol makes
up only a small percentage of the liquid. The rest is flavorings,
sugar, carbohydrates, and other additives.
Now of course there are things we appreciate as adults that we
did not appreciate as children. We clearly grow a more refined
palate as we age, but let’s not kid ourselves: If we were purely
drinking for the taste, we could certainly find other substitutes
that are similar and wouldn’t cause any of the side effects
alcohol causes. I am intolerant to gluten and I’ve managed to
find plenty of substitutes that aren’t exactly the same but are
now a natural part of my life and don’t create the stomach pain
gluten does. The fact is ethanol doesn’t taste good. Consider
this: When scientists want rats or mice to drink alcohol for a
study, they have to force-feed them because they will not
naturally opt to drink it.
So are you honestly drinking it for the taste?
If not, then why are you drinking it?
You’ve almost certainly observed characters in the movies and on
TV enjoying the taste of alcohol, or giving a satisfying burp and
a smile after chugging a . Even if the actors are actually
drinking whiskey-colored tea, the message still gets across—it
tastes good. We all tend to choose our alcohol to match our
identities. If we’re refined and classy, maybe we drink red wine.
Or if we like old cowboy mov-ies, maybe we lean toward whiskey.
Of course, if you’re an interna-tional , you’ve got to order a
martini—shaken, not stirred. We identify with the characters and
tend to like the same drinks they like. I used to love chugging
Guinness and was so proud of my chugging ability. It made me feel
tough and like “one of the boys” in that mas-culine work
environment.
Maybe you see yourself as a discerning wine lover, and your
cellar has become a status symbol. If that’s the case, you
probably pride yourself on your ability to discern the
toasty-smoky-oaky flavors with their fruity or floral overtones.
Or whatever. Here’s a fun fact— the American Association of Wine
Economists conducted a study of more than 6,000 wine drinkers. In
this blind taste test, they discovered that people cannot tell
the difference between cheap wine and expensive wine. In fact,
most people preferred the taste of the cheaper varieties. And you
know what else? The same blind research later found that people
can’t tell the difference between pâté and dog food!So what about
the argument, “alcohol enhances the taste of my food”? Do we say
that about any other beverage- and- food combination? People say
milk enhances the taste of cookies, but could that be because we
physically dip cookies into milk? No one dips their steak into
their wineglass. The truth is, alcohol is actually an anesthetic.
It numbs our ability to taste, making it more difficult to savor
our food.
Imagine we could remove all the physical and emotional effects of
alcohol. If it couldn’t actually make you drunk, would people
still drink it? There’s a body of pretty convincing research
suggesting they wouldn’t. It tastes bad. It’s poisonous. Drinking
for the taste is conve-nient, innocent excuse. At the end of the
day, is it a possibility that there’s something more going on
with your drinking than just the taste? Humans are incredibly
adept at lying to themselves and believ-ing their own stories.
It’s possible that you actually do love the taste of a cool,
frosty margarita. But is it really the alcohol you like? You may
not have tried a delicious virgin margarita, but the truth is,
they taste as good, maybe even better! And you’ll be surprised
and empow-ered by how much you enjoy yourself without the
tequila—or the hangover.
TURNAROUND
This may be the most important part of the ACT Technique. Here
you want to dig into the turnaround or the site of the
belief. You’ll want to take the time to come up with as many ways
as you can (at least three) that the turnaround is as true or
truer than the original belief. In this case the site of “I
drink for the taste” is “I don’t drink for the taste” or maybe
even “I don’t like the taste.” Now it’s your turn to come up with
as many ways as you can that the turn-around is true in your
life.
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